The Process of Couple Healing Following Infidelity: A Qualitative Study
Abstract
Infidelity can have a devastating effect on marriages and individuals. This qualitative study explores the process of healing from infidelity and therapist behaviors that facilitate this process. In-depth client interviews suggest that healing occurs as couples pass through a seven-step process: (1) exploration of emotions and thoughts surrounding the infidelity, (2) expression of these to their partner, (3) development of empathy, (4) softening of emotions, (5) acceptance of personal responsibility and reduction of blame, (6) establishment of accountability, and (7) restoration of trust. While initially these factors occur sequentially, the process gradually becomes non-linear. Therapist behaviors which facilitate healing from infidelity are discussed.
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Specific emotional manifestations of infidelity-based trauma include feelings of extreme anger, betrayal, insecurity, rage, shame, guilt, jealousy and sadness.
“Specific emotional manifestations of infidelity-based trauma include feelings of extreme anger, betrayal, insecurity, rage, shame, guilt, jealousy and sadness [24,31,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40].”
From Love and Infidelity: Causes and Consequences (2023) · cites this paper as [33]
Depressive symptoms following the disclosure of an affair are commonplace for victims of infidelity.
“Depressive symptoms following the disclosure of an affair are commonplace for victims of infidelity [30,33,38,41].”
From Love and Infidelity: Causes and Consequences (2023) · cites this paper as [33]
Cites
Handbook of Qualitative Research
Crozier, G., Denzin, N., & Lincoln, Y. (1994) · British Journal of Educational Studies · doi:10.2307/3121684 · Cited by 26,636 · see citing works
Cano, A., & O'Leary, K. D. (2000) · Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology · doi:10.1037/0022-006x.68.5.774 · Cited by 298 · see citing works
An Integrative Intervention for Promoting Recovery From Extramarital Affairs
Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2004) · Journal of Marital and Family Therapy · doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.2004.tb01235.x · Cited by 253 · cited 4× · see citing works
“Gordon et al. (2004) present a three-stage treatment model designed to help couples (a) deal with the immediate impact of the affair; (b) explore the historical/developmental context of the affair, develop an understanding of how the affair occurred, and evaluate the possibility of change; and (c)…”
BackgroundInfluentialInfidelity and Behavioral Couple Therapy: Optimism in the Face of Betrayal.
Atkins, D. C., Eldridge, K. A., Baucom, D. H., & Christensen, A. (2005) · Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology · doi:10.1037/0022-006x.73.1.144 · Cited by 113 · cited 2× · see citing works
“The current study provides a starting point for future research on the process of healing, such as the process of disclosure (Atkins et al., 2005; Blow & Hartnett, 2005b) or forgiveness.”
BackgroundSchneider, J. P., Corley, M. D., & Irons, R. K. (1998) · Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity · doi:10.1080/10720169808400162 · Cited by 59 · see citing works
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Facilitating forgiveness in the treatment of infidelity: an interpersonal model
Fife, S. T., Weeks, G. R., & Stellberg‐Filbert, J. (2013) · Journal of Family Therapy · doi:10.1111/j.1467-6427.2011.00561.x · Cited by 93 · see citing works
Self-citationLove and Infidelity: Causes and Consequences
Rokach, A., & Chan, S. H. (2023) · International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health · doi:10.3390/ijerph20053904 · Cited by 77 · see citing works
“Depressive symptoms following the disclosure of an affair are commonplace for victims of infidelity [30,33,38,41].”
BackgroundThe aftershocks of infidelity: a review of infidelity-based attachment trauma
Warach, B., & Josephs, L. (2021) · Sexual and Relationship Therapy · doi:10.1080/14681994.2019.1577961 · Cited by 73 · see citing works
Is romantic partner betrayal a form of traumatic experience? A qualitative study
Lonergan, M., Brunet, A., Rivest‐Beauregard, M., & Groleau, D. (2021) · Stress and Health · doi:10.1002/smi.2968 · Cited by 31 · see citing works
Impact of Disclosure of Relapse for Self-Identified Sexual Addicts
Corley, M. D., Pollard, S. E., Hook, J. N., & Schneider, J. P. (2013) · Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity · doi:10.1080/10720162.2013.786659 · Cited by 2 · see citing works
- Authors
- Bird, M. H., Butler, M. H., & Fife, S. T.
- Affiliations
- Centre Hospitalier d'Angoulême (FR)
- Brigham Young University (US)
- University of Nevada, Las Vegas (US)
- Venue
- Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy
- Publisher
- Informa UK Limited
- Published
- 2007-12-14
- Volume
- 6
- Issue
- 4
- Pages
- 1-25
- ISSN
- 1533-2683 (ISSN-L)
- 1533-2691
- OpenAlex
- W1902912632
- Cited by
- 61
- References
- 5
- Citations by year
- 2026: 5 · 2025: 3 · 2024: 3 · 2023: 4 · 2022: 4 · 2021: 5 · 2020: 8 · 2019: 7 · 2018: 1 · 2017: 4 · 2016: 1 · 2015: 1 · 2014: 1 · 2013: 5 · 2012: 2
- FWCI
- 1.83
- Type
- journal article
- Language
- en
- Open access
- closed
- Locations
- Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy (publishedVersion)
- ScholarsArchive (Brigham Young University) (submittedVersion)
- Topics
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Social Psychology › Forgiveness and Related Behaviors
- Social Sciences › Sociology and Political Science › Marriage and Sexual Relationships
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Social Psychology › Attachment and Relationship Dynamics
- Keywords
- infidelity, therapist behavior, empathy, emotional expression, personal responsibility, accountability, trust repair
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