Shame Memories That Shape Who We Are

Abstract

Shame is a powerful self-conscious, socially-focused emotion that plays a vital role in human psychosocial functioning and development, including significant detrimental effects on well-being. According to an evolutionary biopsychosocial approach, shame arises from humans’ evolved social motivational systems for affiliation and social competition, and cognitive competencies for social understanding and self-conscious awareness. This chapter focuses on our research exploring shame memories and their impact on psychological adjustment and mental health vulnerability. We overview how shame memories function as traumatic and autobiographical, become central to self-identity, and negatively impact mental well-being. We describe how attachment and affiliation structure shame memories and affect psychopathology, and review evidence of the buffering effect of positive affiliative memories and compassion against these negative effects. In addition, we outline the relationship between early affiliative experiences and the origins of fears of compassion, as well as the defining phenomenology of shame experiences. The chapter discusses the implications of our research for intervention and prevention. Building on the evolutionary biopsychosocial approach, we propose an integrative and inclusive model of shame and shame memories. We conclude by outlining some challenges and research limitations, and offer recommendations to improve future research in shame memories.