The Domestic Dimensions of Violence: Child Abuse

The abusive parent-child relationship is characterized by intense ambivalence and deep attachment.

“Moreover, as Galdston [23] states, the abusive parent–child relationship is characterized by intense ambivalence and deep attachment.”

The strength of attachment in abusive parent-child relationships makes clinical management more complicated than in cases where parents are indifferent to the child.

“The strength of this attachment makes clinical management more complicated than in cases where parents are indifferent to the child.”

Among the youngest children, Galdston observed that the interaction with their mothers was characterized by a description of their aggression completely out of proportion to the facts; the mothers spoke of their children as if they were threatened by their mobility.

“Among the youngest children, who were just beginning to walk, Galdston observed that the interaction with their mothers was characterized by a description of their aggression completely out of proportion to the facts. The mothers spoke of their children as if they were threatened by their mobility.”

The parent's narcissistic fragility does not allow him or her to deal adequately with the child's emancipatory behaviors, first and foremost during the early separation-individuation phase.

“Galdston [23] pointed out that it is precisely the parent’s narcissistic fragility that does not allow him or her to deal adequately with the child’s emancipatory behaviors, first and foremost during the early separation–individuation phase, when the child, through assertive behaviors, displays his or her need for individuation.”

Outbursts of anger and abuse alternate with an inability to put appropriate limits on children's behavior.

“In his extensive experience, Galdston found that outbursts of anger and abuse alternate with an inability to put appropriate limits on children’s behavior.”

Mothers responded to their children's first expressions of aggression either by avoiding them through denial or by violent physical abuse; both patterns left children with the impression that they were carrying dangerous aggression, unmanageable by others and themselves.

“Mothers responded to their children’s first expressions of aggression either by avoiding them through denial or by violent physical abuse. Both of these patterns of response left children with the same impression, namely, that they were carrying dangerous aggression, unmanageable by others and themselves because of its potential for violence.”

The abusive parent communicates to the child that he/she does not tolerate aggression and perceives it as violence; aggression, understood as a vital drive aimed at individuation, cannot be tolerated and is punished.

“The parent thus communicates to the child that he/she does not tolerate aggression and perceives it as violence. Aggression, here understood as a vital drive aimed at individuation, cannot be tolerated and is punished.”

The abusive parent confuses assertiveness with an aggressive attack aimed at his/her fragile self and may have uncontrolled angry reactions.

“The abusive parent confuses assertiveness with an aggressive attack aimed at his/her fragile self and may have uncontrolled angry reactions.”