Walking on egg shells: A qualitative examination of men’s experiences of intimate partner violence
Abstract
Research has demonstrated the prevalence of men’s victimisation in intimate relationships (e.g. Archer, 2000; Bates, Graham-Kevan & Archer, 2014), but little research has explored these experiences in a non-help-seeking sample. The aim of this study was to qualitatively explore men’s experience of intimate partner violence (IPV) from their female partners. An online questionnaire was utilised with a series of open-ended questions that explored: experiences of verbal, physical and sexual aggression as well as different aspects of coercive controlling behavior. Results revealed that the men within this sample experienced a range of aggression that was both severe and injurious at times, however their most impactful experiences were from the control their female partners exerted over them. This included gaslighting, isolating from friends and family, control over basic freedom, and the fear or uncertainty of living with the abuse in day-to-day life. Findings are discussed in line with men’s help-seeking behavior, and current policy and practice.
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Under-reporting affects IPV prevalence rates, as many men who have experienced IPV are unaware their experiences meet the definition of abuse.
“Under-reporting also affects these rates, as many men who have experienced IPV are unaware their experiences meet the definition of abuse (Bates, 2020a, 2020b; Taylor et al., 2022).”
From Experiences and Impacts of Intimate Partner Violence Against Men in Northern Ireland: Qualitative Findings from the Male Experiences of Intimate Partner Violence Study (2026) · cites this paper as Bates, 2020b
Men are more likely to either not report due to psychosocial and cultural influences, or to not recognise their experiences as IPV.
“Men are more likely to either not report due to psychosocial and cultural influences, or to not recognise their experiences as IPV (Bates, 2020b; Taylor et al., 2022).”
From Experiences and Impacts of Intimate Partner Violence Against Men in Northern Ireland: Qualitative Findings from the Male Experiences of Intimate Partner Violence Study (2026) · cites this paper as Bates, 2020b
Cites
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Self-citationA self‐report measure of legal and administrative aggression within intimate relationships
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Hines, D. A., & Lysova, A. (2024) · Partner Abuse · doi:10.1891/pa-2023-0018 · Cited by 3 · see citing works
Hosain, M. S. (2025) · The Family Journal · doi:10.1177/10664807251333756 · Cited by 2 · see citing works
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“Disclosure, Barriers to Help-Seeking, and Support in Northern Ireland Men are more likely to either not report due to psychosocial and cultural influences, or to not recognise their experiences as IPV (Bates, 2020b; Taylor et al., 2022).”
- Authors
- Bates, E. A.
- Affiliations
- University of Cumbria (GB)
- Corresponding author
- Bates, Elizabeth A.
- ORCID
- Bates, Elizabeth A.
- Venue
- Psychology of Men & Masculinities
- Published
- 2020-01
- Volume
- 21
- Issue
- 1
- Pages
- 13-24
- ISSN
- 1524-9220 (ISSN-L)
- 1939-151X
- OpenAlex
- W2939367356
- Cited by
- 110
- References
- 6
- Citations by year
- 2026: 18 · 2025: 17 · 2024: 19 · 2023: 20 · 2022: 15 · 2021: 15 · 2020: 6
- FWCI
- 8.80
- Type
- journal article
- Language
- en
- Open access
- closed
- Locations
- Psychology of Men & Masculinity (publishedVersion)
- Insight (University of Cumbria) (acceptedVersion)
- Topics
- Social Sciences › Health › Intimate Partner and Family Violence
- Social Sciences › Sociology and Political Science › Stalking, Cyberstalking, and Harassment
- Social Sciences › Demography › Elder Abuse and Neglect
- Keywords
- intimate partner violence, male victims, gaslighting, social isolation, help-seeking, intimate relationships
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