Digital Desires, Real Losses: The Complex World of Online Romance Fraud

Abstract

Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social NetworkingAhead of Print Free AccessDigital Desires, Real Losses: The Complex World of Online Romance FraudBrenda K. WiederholdBrenda K. WiederholdBrenda K. Wiederhold, Editor-in-ChiefSearch for more papers by this authorPublished Online:12 Mar 2024https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2024.29311.editorialAboutSectionsPDF/EPUB Permissions & CitationsDownload CitationsTrack CitationsAdd to favorites Back To Publication ShareShare onFacebookXLinked InRedditEmail In the age of digital connection, people seek connection and companionship through the click of a button or the swipe of a screen. However, among other challenges with online dating, such as crafting the perfect profile and striking up a meaningful conversation with a stranger, the threat of deception looms large. In 2022, nearly 70,000 people reported falling victim to a romance scam, amounting to losses in the range of $1.3 billion (and that's only what people were willing to report—the actual number may be far higher).1These scams are characterized by the manipulation of individuals who are already in a vulnerable state of mind: they are looking for love in the digital world. Scammers use the power of electronic communication to fabricate emotional bonds and then exploit those bonds for economic gain. Understanding the nuanced characteristics of both victims and scammers in online romance scams, alongside the ways through which these crimes are perpetrated, is crucial for developing comprehensive prevention strategies that can effectively safeguard individuals and communities against the devastating financial and emotional consequences of online romance scams.Who Are the Victims of Online Romance Scams?Anyone can be a victim of a scam, but research indicates that romance scam victims tend to be middle-aged, well-educated women who score higher on measures of impulsivity and lack of self-control.2 It's possible that this demographic is more prevalent on dating platforms because they have more disposable income than other groups, or they are more likely to seek out partners on dating apps and websites. Regardless, their psychological traits make them more predisposed to becoming victims of online scams. Scammers tend to manipulate their victims to send requests for money, usually with a fabricated sense of urgency. In a study examining the psychological characteristics of romance scam victims, victims were more impulsive and sensation seeking than those who had never been scammed, which may explain why they were willing to comply with a scammer's requests in the face of a fake emergency.2Notably, victims were also more likely to score higher on addiction characteristics compared to nonvictims, which aligns with the gamification that many dating apps and websites employ to keep users returning to their platforms. For example, popular dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble use a variety of approaches—such as setting a deadline for users to send a message after they match with someone and displaying potential local matches—to keep people engaged.3 For some, these gamification elements eventually lead to meaningful connections with potential partners. For others, impulsivity and addictive behaviors keep people hooked and invested in their pursuit of love, to the point that some victims find it difficult to believe that they have been scammed—even when told by law enforcement.4The Profile of a ScammerScammers use a range of complicated methods to manipulate their victims over time. The scammer will create a fake dating profile and pursue a romantic relationship with their victim for six to eight months, developing a deep yet one-sided emotional bond during that time.5 First, the scammer will use empathetic behavior to create the impression that they are perfectly aligned with their victim's view of life, to the point that a declaration of love is sometimes made within two weeks from initial contact. This contact may start on a dating app or social media site and then move quickly to a private one-on-one messaging platform, such as WhatsApp or Telegram—a move that both helps fabricate a false sense of intimacy and prevents the victim from studying the scammer's dating profile too closely.This level of grooming not only plays on the victim's insecurities, but also establishes a deep level of trust between the victim and their scammer. They may feel as though they have finally found their missing piece—which blinds them to the reality that they are falling for a lie. From this point, the victim and scammer will begin to discuss actually meeting up in person, only to have the meeting delayed by a series of urgent problems or desperate situations that may involve manipulating the victim into sending the scammer money. The scammer may also ask for small gifts, slowly increasing the monetary value of their gifts over time, until the victim provides large sums of money without having met their partner in person. The financial impact i