‘Feeling Caught’ in Stepfamilies: Managing Boundary Turbulence through Appropriate Communication Privacy Rules

Abstract

This study used a Communication Privacy Management perspective to examine the communication patterns that foster and ameliorate triangulation in stepfamilies. The qualitative analysis of 90 in-depth interviews with stepchildren, stepparents, and parents from 30 stepfamilies revealed that enmeshed communication boundaries contributed to children feeling caught between their custodial and noncustodial parents and parents and/or stepparents feeling caught between the children in the stepfamily. The dialectical tensions of loyalty–disloyalty and revealment–concealment that comprised stepfamily members’ feelings of being caught produced turbulence in their previously established communication rules. The stepfamilies responded to these tensions with boundary coordination or boundary separation. The ways the boundaries became enmeshed and the management attempts used to coordinate new boundary rules are outlined.