Becoming irreplaceable: How comparisons to the partner’s alternatives differentially affect low and high self-esteem people
Open accessAbstract
It is proposed that people are motivated to feel hard to replace in romantic relationships because feeling irreplaceable fosters trust in a partner's continued responsiveness. By contrast, feeling replaceable motivates compensatory behavior aimed at strengthening the partner's commitment to the relationship. A correlational study of dating couples and 2 experiments examined how satiating/thwarting the goal of feeling irreplaceable differentially affects relationship perception and behavior for low and high self-esteem people. The results revealed that satiating the goal of feeling irreplaceable increases trust for people low in self-esteem. In contrast, thwarting the goal of feeling irreplaceable increases compensatory behaviors meant to prove one's indispensability for people high in self-esteem.
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Low self-esteem individuals cope less successfully with various stress-situations in the relationship.
“In general, low self-esteem individuals cope less successfully with various stress-situations in the relationship (Cameron et al., 2009;Murray, Aloni, et al., 2009;Murray, Leder, et al., 2009).”
From The Role of Social Network Sites in Romantic Relationships: Effects on Jealousy and Relationship Happiness (2011) · cites this paper as Murray, Leder, et al., 2009
Experiment 2’s Discussion and the General Discussion report that, when faced with the possibility of being replaced, low-self-esteem participants distanced themselves from their partners, while high-self-esteem participants took compensatory action. This supports the claim for that relationship threat, but the paper’s findings do not establish that low-self-esteem individuals cope less successfully across various relationship stress situations. The supplied copy gives no page numbers for these sections. (LLM, conf=0.83)
Experimental — accuracy not yet measuredSelf-esteem has repeatedly been found to moderate processes in romantic relationships.
“self-esteem has repeatedly been found to moderate processes in romantic relationships (Cameron, Holmes, & Vorauer, 2009;Murray, Aloni, et al., 2009;Murray, Leder, et al., 2009).”
From The Role of Social Network Sites in Romantic Relationships: Effects on Jealousy and Relationship Happiness (2011) · cites this paper as Murray, Leder, et al., 2009
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- Authors
- Murray, S. L., Leder, S., MacGregor, J. C. D., Holmes, J. G., Pinkus, R. T., & Harris, B.
- Affiliations
- University at Buffalo, State University of New York (US)
- University of Waterloo (CA)
- Corresponding author
- Murray, Sandra L.
- Venue
- Journal of Experimental Social Psychology
- Publisher
- Elsevier BV
- Published
- 2009-11
- Volume
- 45
- Issue
- 6
- Pages
- 1180-1191
- ISSN
- 0022-1031 (ISSN-L)
- PMC
- PMC2783625
- OpenAlex
- W2050109217
- Cited by
- 39
- References
- 8
- Citations by year
- 2026: 1 · 2025: 3 · 2024: 2 · 2023: 1 · 2022: 2 · 2020: 3 · 2019: 1 · 2018: 3 · 2017: 4 · 2016: 5 · 2015: 2 · 2014: 2 · 2013: 2
- FWCI
- 3.23
- Type
- journal article
- Language
- en
- Open access
- green
- europepmc.org
- Locations
- Journal of Experimental Social Psychology (publishedVersion)
- PubMed (publishedVersion)
- Europe PMC (PubMed Central) (acceptedVersion)
- PubMed Central (acceptedVersion)
- Funders
- Irish Research Council for the Humanities and Social Sciences
- National Institute of Mental Health (MH 60105-02)
- Topics
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Social Psychology › Attachment and Relationship Dynamics
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Social Psychology › Death Anxiety and Social Exclusion
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Clinical Psychology › Personality Traits and Psychology
- Keywords
- irreplaceability, self-esteem, romantic relationships, trust in relationships, compensatory behavior, relationship commitment, dating couples, indispensability
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