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Cited by 99Marriage and Sexual RelationshipsAttachment and Relationship DynamicsForgiveness and Related Behaviors

The impact of extramarital relationships on the continuation of marriages

Charny, Israel W., Parnass, Snan·1995·Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy
DOI 10.1080/00926239508404389
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Abstract

Two groups of practicing therapists were asked to describe in depth a specific extramarital affair with which they were very familiar--whether as therapist, relative, or friend or were themselves involved. Of 62 cases, 21, or 34%, ended in divorce--in the therapists' judgments as a consequence of the infidelity. In 27 cases, or 43.5%, the marriages were preserved, but in an overall dysphoric or negative atmosphere. In 4 cases, or 6%, the marriages were intact but either the marriage was "blah" or empty in quality or the future of the marriage was judged as still in doubt. Only in 9 cases, or 14.5%, were the marriages reported intact and characterized by improvement and growth. Of these, 4 were cases of one-time affairs. Analysis of the direct impact of the affair on the betrayed spouses showed that the majority of the betrayed husbands and wives suffered significant damage to their self-image, personal confidence, or sexual confidence, feelings of abandonment, attacks on their sense of belonging, betrayals of trust, enraged feelings, and/or a surge of justification to leave their spouses. The judgments of the therapists reporting the cases were that fully 89% of the betrayed spouses either were consciously aware of the infidelity or, even if not acknowledging, really knew, and that even the majority of the betrayed spouses who claimed consciously that they opposed their spouses' behavior were unconsciously in collusion with them.

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Crossref · 10.1080/00926239508404389

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  • Victims of infidelity report developing lower self-esteem, self-confidence, a lack of trust in others and a strong fear of abandonment in future romantic relationships.

    “This includes reports of developing lower self-esteem, self-confidence, a lack of trust in others and a strong fear of abandonment in future romantic relationships [31].”

    From Love and Infidelity: Causes and Consequences (2023) · cites this paper as [31]

  • Specific emotional manifestations of infidelity-based trauma include feelings of extreme anger, betrayal, insecurity, rage, shame, guilt, jealousy and sadness.

    “Specific emotional manifestations of infidelity-based trauma include feelings of extreme anger, betrayal, insecurity, rage, shame, guilt, jealousy and sadness [24,31,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40].”

    From Love and Infidelity: Causes and Consequences (2023) · cites this paper as [31]

  • Infidelity challenges the person's sense of self, safety, and trust in a partner who is supposed to be a secure base.

    “The impact of this life-altering event challenges the person’s sense of self, safety and trust in another who is supposed to be their “secure base” for love and adoration [29,31].”

    From Love and Infidelity: Causes and Consequences (2023) · cites this paper as [31]

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Authors
Charny, I. W., & Parnass, S.
Affiliations
Hebrew University of Jerusalem (IL)
Venue
Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy
Publisher
Informa UK Limited
Published
1995-06
Volume
21
Issue
2
Pages
100-115
ISSN
  • 0092-623X (ISSN-L)
  • 1521-0715
DOI
10.1080/00926239508404389
OpenAlex
W2117944209
Cited by
98
References
18
Citations by year
2026: 2 · 2025: 1 · 2024: 4 · 2023: 3 · 2022: 2 · 2021: 6 · 2020: 7 · 2019: 5 · 2018: 3 · 2017: 5 · 2016: 2 · 2015: 7 · 2014: 7 · 2013: 4 · 2012: 7
FWCI
6.84
Type
journal article
Language
en
Open access
closed
Locations
  • Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy (publishedVersion)
  • PubMed (publishedVersion)
Topics
  • Social Sciences › Sociology and Political Science › Marriage and Sexual Relationships
  • Social Sciences › Psychology › Social Psychology › Attachment and Relationship Dynamics
  • Social Sciences › Psychology › Social Psychology › Forgiveness and Related Behaviors
Keywords
adultery, divorce, self-image, sexual confidence, abandonment, marital quality
MeSH terms
Adaptation, Psychological, Divorce, Emotions, Extramarital Relations, Female, Humans, Male, Marital Therapy, Marriage, Motivation, Surveys and Questionnaires, Self Concept, Unconscious, Psychology, Spouses

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