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‘I never realised everybody felt as happy as I do when I am around autistic people’: A thematic analysis of autistic adults’ relationships with autistic and neurotypical friends and family
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Abstract
Many autistic people are motivated to have friends, relationships and close family bonds, despite the clinical characterisation of autism as a condition negatively affecting social interaction. Many first-hand accounts of autistic people describe feelings of comfort and ease specifically with other autistic people. This qualitative research explored and contrasted autistic experiences of spending social time with neurotypical and autistic friends and family. In total, 12 autistic adults (10 females, aged 21–51) completed semi-structured interviews focused on time spent with friends and family; positive and negative aspects of time spent with neurotypical and autistic friends and family; and feelings during and after spending time together. Three themes were identified: cross-neurotype understanding, minority status and belonging. Investigation of these themes reveals the benefits of autistic people creating and maintaining social relationships with other autistic people, in a more systematic way than previous individual reports. They highlight the need for autistic-led social opportunities and indicate benefits of informal peer support for autistic adults. Lay abstract Although autistic people may struggle to interact with others, many autistic people have said they find interacting with other autistic people more comfortable. To find out whether this was a common experience, we did hour-long interviews with 12 autistic adults. We asked them questions about how it feels when spending time with their friends and family, and whether it felt different depending on whether the friends and family were autistic or neurotypical. We analysed the interviews and found three common themes in what our participants said. First, they found spending with other autistic people easier and more comfortable than spending time with neurotypical people, and felt they were better understood by other autistic people. Second, autistic people often felt they were in a social minority, and in order to spend time with neurotypical friends and family, they had to conform with what the neurotypical people wanted and were used to. Third, autistic people felt like they belonged with other autistic people and that they could be themselves around them. These findings show that having time with autistic friends and family can be very beneficial for autistic people and played an important role in a happy social life.
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“It is imperative to keep in mind that even Autistic people who lack fluency in “neurotypical” social skills can engage in successful interactions and form meaningful, reciprocal social bonds with others on and off the spectrum (Chen et al., 2021; Crompton et al., 2020; Davis & Crompton, 2021; Heasman & Gillespie, 2019).”
From Neurodiversity and Autism Intervention: Reconciling Perspectives Through a Naturalistic Developmental Behavioral Intervention Framework (2022) · cites this paper as Crompton et al., 2020
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“The double empathy problem further highlights that communication differences between autistic and non-autistic people are reciprocal, emerging through mismatches in how meaning is expressed and understood (Milton, 2012; Crompton et al., 2020; Davis and Crompton, 2021)”
From The system-level organisational design framework: a neuro-cognitive trait interaction approach to workplace inclusion for autistic people (2026) · cites this paper as Crompton et al., 2020
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Santhanam, S. P., & Bellon-Harn, M. L. (2022) · American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology · doi:10.1044/2021_ajslp-21-00223 · Cited by 16
Game Changer: Exploring the Role of Board Games in the Lives of Autistic People
Cross, L., Belshaw, F., Piovesan, A., & Atherton, G. (2024) · Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders · doi:10.1007/s10803-024-06408-0 · Cited by 17
Social motor synchrony and interactive rapport in autistic, non-autistic, and mixed-neurotype dyads
Efthimiou, T. N., Wilks, C. E. H., Foster, S. J., Dodd, M., Sasson, N. J., Ropar, D., Lages, M., Fletcher‐Watson, S., & Crompton, C. J. (2025) · Autism · doi:10.1177/13623613251319585 · Cited by 16
Self-citationMerrington, H., Gibbs, V., Haas, K., Clark, T., Robinson, A., Ansari, M. A., & Pellicano, E. (2024) · Autism in Adulthood · doi:10.1089/aut.2023.0127 · Cited by 13
Metadata
- Authors
- Crompton, C. J., Hallett, S., Ropar, D., Flynn, E., & Fletcher-Watson, S.
- Affiliations
- University of Edinburgh (GB)
- Autistic Mutual Aid Society Edinburgh, UK
- University of Nottingham (GB)
- Queen's University Belfast (GB)
- The University of Edinburgh, UK
- Corresponding author
- Crompton, Catherine J
- Venue
- Autism
- Publisher
- SAGE Publications
- Published
- 2020-03-07
- Volume
- 24
- Issue
- 6
- Pages
- 1438-1448
- ISSN
- 1362-3613 (ISSN-L)
- 1461-7005
- PMC
- PMC7376620
- OpenAlex
- W3009630179
- Cited by
- 351
- References
- 60
- Citations by year
- 2026: 54 · 2025: 74 · 2024: 78 · 2023: 56 · 2022: 57 · 2021: 27 · 2020: 5
- FWCI
- 19.35
- Type
- journal article
- Language
- en
- Open access
- hybrid
- doi.org
- Licence
- Locations
- Autism (publishedVersion, cc-by-nc)
- PubMed Central (publishedVersion, cc-by-nc)
- PubMed (publishedVersion)
- Repository@Nottingham (University of Nottingham) (acceptedVersion, other-oa)
- OSF Preprints (OSF Preprints) (acceptedVersion)
- Repository@Nottingham (University of Nottingham) (submittedVersion, cc-by-nc-nd)
- Edinburgh Research Explorer (University of Edinburgh) (submittedVersion, cc-by-nc)
- Research Portal (Queen's University Belfast) (submittedVersion, cc-by-nc)
- OSF Preprints (OSF Preprints) (submittedVersion, cc-by)
- Funders
- Templeton World Charity Foundation (TWCF0200)
- Topics
- Life Sciences › Neuroscience › Cognitive Neuroscience › Autism Spectrum Disorder Research
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Clinical Psychology › Family and Disability Support Research
- Social Sciences › Sociology and Political Science › Disability Rights and Representation
- Keywords
- autistic adults, interpersonal relationships, family relationships, minority status, sense of belonging, peer support, social interaction
- MeSH terms
- Autism Spectrum Disorder, Adult, Autistic Disorder, Emotions, Happiness, Humans, Friends
About these checks
Registry, retraction, Cites and statistics results are computed, not judged, with one exception: a printed reference that no index lists is read once by a model before it counts as a citation error. Claims are extracted by a model and kept only when their quote appears verbatim in the text; each cited source is then checked, with a model’s help, for whether it says what the claim relies on. Those verdicts can be wrong — read the claim’s quote and the cited source before relying on one.
Statistics and arithmetic are recomputed, not judged.
Confidence bands are shown only for fields calibrated on our annotated test set. None is calibrated yet, so no band is shown.
What counts as a claim ›How we measure confidence ›How we check this ›
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