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The Role of Self-Compassion in Development: A Healthier Way to Relate to Oneself
Open accessAbstract
The idea that people need high self-esteem in order to be psychologically healthy is almost a truism in Western developmental psychology.Parents are told that one of their most important tasks is to nurture their children's self-esteem.Teachers are encouraged to give all their students gold stars so that each can feel proud and special.Psychologists worry about the dangerous drop in self-esteem experienced by adolescents as they transition out of childhood and try to find ways to give teens a self-esteem boost.The assumption that high self-esteem is synonymous with wellbeing applies throughout the lifespan.The elderly benefit from high self-esteem as much as anyone, don't they?The issue is not so simple.In the field of social psychology, scholars are starting to fall out of love with self-esteem.Yes, it is true that high self-esteem is associated with less depression and anxiety, as well as with greater happiness and life satisfaction.However, there are also some dark sides to high selfesteem.For instance, high self-esteem is strongly correlated with narcissism.Twenge [2006] argued that the emphasis placed on self-esteem in American schools and culture at large is responsible for the creation of 'generation me', so named because of the steady and consistent rise in narcissism levels among American college students documented since the mid 1960s.Self-esteem is also associated with the better-thanaverage effect, the need to feel superior to others just to feel okay about oneself.Research shows that most people think they are funnier, more logical, more popular, better looking, nicer, more trustworthy, wiser and more intelligent than others [Alicke & Govorun, 2005].To be average is unacceptable in Western society, so pretty much everyone walks around wearing rose-colored glasses (at least when they are looking in the mirror).This comparative dynamic, however, the tendency to puff ourselves up and put others down, creates interpersonal distance and separation that undermines connectedness.
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“Self-compassion has previously been shown to be a mechanism of change in MBCT and to be inversely associated with depressive symptoms (Neff, 2009), which was also found in the present study.”
From Internet-delivered Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for anxiety and depression in cancer survivors: Predictors of treatment response (2021) · cites this paper as Neff, 2009
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“Group therapy has been thought to provide a sense of universality [30] and may enhance a sense of common humanity, a foundation of self-compassion [31].”
From One-Day Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Compared to Support for Depressed Migraine Patients: a Randomized Clinical Trial. (2020) · cites this paper as [31]
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“This promoted a sense of common humanity, rather than isolation, a key component in the cultivation of compassion (Neff, 2009).”
From A multi‐method evaluation of a compassion‐focused cognitive behavioural psychotherapy group for people who self‐harm. (2022) · cites this paper as Neff, 2009
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“AB has experience delivering these courses over Skype without excessive technical problems [23, 63].”
From Distant delivery of a mindfulness-based intervention for people with Parkinson's disease: The study protocol of a randomised pilot trial (2017) · cites this paper as [63]
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Marshall, S., Parker, P. D., Ciarrochi, J., Sahdra, B. K., Jackson, C. J., & Heaven, P. C. L. (2015) · Personality and Individual Differences · doi:10.1016/j.paid.2014.09.049 · Cited by 30
Maynard, P. G., van Kessel, K., & Feather, J. S. (2023) · Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice · doi:10.1111/papt.12435 · Cited by 21
Arslan, G. (2023) · Personality and Individual Differences · doi:10.1016/j.paid.2023.112232 · Cited by 18
Pires, F. B. C., Lacerda, S. S., Balardin, J. B., Portes, B., Tobo, P. R., Barrichello, C., Amaro, E., & Kozasa, E. H. (2018) · BMC Women s Health · doi:10.1186/s12905-018-0685-y · Cited by 25
Enfermeiros na triagem no serviço de emergência: autocompaixão e empatia
Savieto, R. M., Mercer, S. W., Matos, C. C. P., & Leão, E. R. (2019) · Revista Latino-Americana de Enfermagem · doi:10.1590/1518-8345.3049.3151 · Cited by 21
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Metadata
- Authors
- Neff, K. D.
- Affiliations
- The University of Texas at Austin (US)
- Corresponding author
- Neff, Kristin D.
- ORCID
- Neff, Kristin D.
- Venue
- Human Development
- Publisher
- S. Karger AG
- Published
- 2009
- Volume
- 52
- Issue
- 4
- Pages
- 211-214
- ISSN
- 0018-716X (ISSN-L)
- 1423-0054
- PMC
- PMC2790748
- OpenAlex
- W2138316746
- Cited by
- 419
- References
- 14
- Citations by year
- 2026: 22 · 2025: 34 · 2024: 41 · 2023: 46 · 2022: 37 · 2021: 42 · 2020: 29 · 2019: 31 · 2018: 30 · 2017: 20 · 2016: 22 · 2015: 12 · 2014: 16 · 2013: 20 · 2012: 8
- FWCI
- 5.32
- Type
- journal article
- Language
- en
- Open access
- bronze
- doi.org
- Locations
- Human Development (publishedVersion)
- PubMed Central (publishedVersion)
- PubMed (publishedVersion)
- Topics
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Clinical Psychology › Mindfulness and Compassion Interventions
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Clinical Psychology › Personality Traits and Psychology
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Social Psychology › Psychological Well-being and Life Satisfaction
- Keywords
- self-compassion, self-esteem, narcissism, better-than-average effect, psychological well-being, anxiety and depression, life satisfaction, interpersonal relatedness, Generation Me, developmental psychology
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