Intimately connected: The importance of partner responsiveness for experiencing sexual desire.
Abstract
Sexual desire tends to subside gradually over time, with many couples failing to maintain desire in their long-term relationships. Three studies employed complementary methodologies to examine whether partner responsiveness, an intimacy-building behavior, could instill desire for one's partner. In Study 1, participants were led to believe that they would interact online with their partner. In reality, they interacted with either a responsive or an unresponsive confederate. In Study 2, participants interacted face-to-face with their partner, and judges coded their displays of responsiveness and sexual desire. Study 3 used a daily experiences methodology to examine the mechanisms underlying the responsiveness-desire linkage. Overall, responsiveness was associated with increased desire, but more strongly in women. Feeling special and perceived partner mate value explained the responsiveness-desire link, suggesting that responsive partners were seen as making one feel valued as well as better potential mates for anyone and thus as more sexually desirable. (PsycINFO Database Record
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In romantic relationships, emotional intimacy plays a significant role in sustaining sexual desire and partnered sexual activity.
“In romantic relationships, it is thought that the experience of emotional intimacy-which involves the experience of intense feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bonding (Sternberg, 1986)-plays a significant role in sustaining sexual desire and partnered sexual activity (Asadi et al., 2020;Birnbaum et al., 2016;Van Lankveld et al., 2018).”
From “Your Addiction, her Sexual Suffering”—A Qualitative Inquiry into the Effects of Compulsive Sexual Behaviors on Intimate Female Partners (2025) · cites this paper as Birnbaum et al., 2016
Women's sexual desire has been significantly predicted by relationship issues.
“The expression of sexuality, a fundamental human desire, occurs in the context of intimate relationships, and women's sexual desire has been significantly predicted by relationship issues (Birnbaum et al., 2016;Friedmann & Cwikel, 2021).”
From “Your Addiction, her Sexual Suffering”—A Qualitative Inquiry into the Effects of Compulsive Sexual Behaviors on Intimate Female Partners (2025) · cites this paper as Birnbaum et al., 2016
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Vaillancourt-Morel, M.-P., Rosen, N. O., Péloquin, K., & Bergeron, S. (2023) · Child Maltreatment · doi:10.1177/10775595211057230 · Cited by 15 · see citing works
Vowels, L. M., Roos, C. A., Mehulić, J., O’Dean, S., & Sánchez-Hernández, M. D. (2022) · Archives of Sexual Behavior · doi:10.1007/s10508-022-02432-2 · Cited by 14 · see citing works
The Relationship between Intimacy Change and Passion: A Dyadic Diary Study
Aykutoğlu, B., & Uysal, A. (2017) · Frontiers in Psychology · doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.02257 · Cited by 14 · see citing works
The benefits (and costs) of sexual responsiveness in romantic relationships.
Muise, A., Kovacevic, K., Shoikhedbrod, A., & Uppot, A. (2023) · Current Opinion in Psychology · doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2023.101644 · Cited by 12 · see citing works
Sukhanova, A., Pascoal, P. M., & Rosa, P. J. (2022) · Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy · doi:10.1080/0092623x.2022.2035867 · Cited by 12 · see citing works
Goss, S., Raposo, S., Balzarini, R. N., Rosen, N. O., Benyamin, V., & Muise, A. (2022) · Journal of Social and Personal Relationships · doi:10.1177/02654075221081137 · Cited by 13 · see citing works
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The Bitter Pill: Cessation of Oral Contraceptives Enhances the Appeal of Alternative Mates
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Self-citationBosisio, M., Rosen, N. O., Dubé, J. P., Vaillancourt‐Morel, M., Daspe, M., & Bergeron, S. (2022) · Journal of Social and Personal Relationships · doi:10.1177/02654075221080581 · Cited by 10 · see citing works
Romance Behind the Screens: Exploring the Role of Technoference on Intimacy
Mushquash, A. R., Charlton, J. K., MacIsaac, A., & Ryan, K. L. (2022) · Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking · doi:10.1089/cyber.2022.0068 · Cited by 10 · see citing works
Birnbaum, G. E. (2023) · Current Opinion in Psychology · doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2023.101594 · Cited by 10 · see citing works
Self-citationBirnbaum, G., Zholtack, K., & Reis, H. (2020) · Journal of Social and Personal Relationships · doi:10.1177/0265407520927469 · Cited by 10 · see citing works
Self-citationSexual Desire Mediates the Relationship-Promoting Effects of Perceived Partner Mate Value
Birnbaum, G. E., Kanat‐Maymon, Y., Slotter, E. B., & Luchies, L. B. (2021) · Archives of Sexual Behavior · doi:10.1007/s10508-021-02060-2 · Cited by 10 · see citing works
Self-citationBusby, D. M., Spencer, S., Butler, M. H., & Anderson, S. R. (2023) · Family Process · doi:10.1111/famp.12917 · Cited by 9 · see citing works
Personal and perceived partner orgasm pursuit: A daily diary study about the gendered orgasm gap
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McClung, E., Rosen, N. O., Dubé, J. P., Wang, G. A., & Corsini‐Munt, S. (2023) · Archives of Sexual Behavior · doi:10.1007/s10508-023-02752-x · Cited by 9 · see citing works
Temptation at your door: Receiving mate poaching attempts and perceived Partners' desirability
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Self-citationBirnbaum, G., Chen, Y. R., Zholtack, K., Giron, J., & Friedman, D. (2022) · Current Research in Ecological and Social Psychology · doi:10.1016/j.cresp.2022.100084 · Cited by 6 · see citing works
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Schwenck, G. C., Bergeron, S., Huberman, J. S., de Oliveira, H. S. M., Impett, E. A., & Rosen, N. O. (2023) · The Journal of Sex Research · doi:10.1080/00224499.2023.2282617 · Cited by 9 · see citing works
Birnbaum, G. E., Kanat‐Maymon, Y., Zholtack, K., Avidan, R., & Reis, H. T. (2024) · Archives of Sexual Behavior · doi:10.1007/s10508-024-02997-0 · Cited by 8 · see citing works
Self-citationMizrahi, M., Lemay, E. P., Maniaci, M. R., & Reis, H. T. (2022) · Journal of Social and Personal Relationships · doi:10.1177/02654075221076002 · Cited by 8 · see citing works
Self-citationMuise, A., & Goss, S. (2023) · Current Directions in Psychological Science · doi:10.1177/09637214231211542 · Cited by 8 · see citing works
A Behavioral Systems Approach to Romantic Love Relationships: Attachment, Caregiving, and Sex
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2018) · The New Psychology of Love · doi:10.1017/9781108658225.014 · Cited by 63 · see citing works
The interplay between sexual desire and relationship functioning
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Self-citationPerceived barriers of expression of sexual desires among older adults: a qualitative study
Hashemiparast, M., Naderi, B., Chattu, V. K., & Allahverdipour, H. (2022) · Sexual & Relationship Therapy · doi:10.1080/14681994.2022.2056590 · Cited by 7 · see citing works
A Typology of Women with Low Sexual Desire
Sutherland, S. E., Rehman, U. S., & Goodnight, J. A. (2020) · Archives of Sexual Behavior · doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01805-9 · Cited by 6 · see citing works
Engelhard, E. S. (2019) · American Journal of Dance Therapy · doi:10.1007/s10465-019-09302-w · Cited by 6 · see citing works
Birnbaum, G. E. (2023) · Oxford University Press eBooks · doi:10.1093/oxfordhb/9780197536438.013.28 · Cited by 5 · see citing works
Self-citationBayesianize fuzziness in the statistical analysis of fuzzy data
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Modeling Dyadic Trajectories: Longitudinal Changes in Sexual Satisfaction for Newlywed Couples
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Reyes, M., & Clark, E. M. (2024) · Sexual and Relationship Therapy · doi:10.1080/14681994.2024.2332622 · Cited by 5 · see citing works
Kokka, I., Sotiropoulou, P., & Mourikis, I. (2025) · International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health · doi:10.3390/ijerph22050794 · Cited by 4 · see citing works
Velten, J., Tavares, I. M., & Rosen, N. O. (2025) · The Journal of Sex Research · doi:10.1080/00224499.2025.2486475 · Cited by 6 · see citing works
Barazandeh, M., Beshārat, M. A., & Moghadamzadeh, A. (2020) · Sexual & Relationship Therapy · doi:10.1080/14681994.2020.1830964 · Cited by 4 · see citing works
Put Me in Your Shoes: Does Perspective-Taking Inoculate Against the Appeal of Alternative Partners?
Birnbaum, G. E., Bachar, T., Levy, G. F., Zholtack, K., & Reis, H. T. (2022) · The Journal of Sex Research · doi:10.1080/00224499.2022.2150998 · Cited by 4 · see citing works
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Rokach, A., & Patel, K. (2021) · Elsevier eBooks · doi:10.1016/b978-0-12-819174-3.00014-0 · Cited by 6 · see citing works
Bireysel ve İlişkisel Bağlamda Algılanan Partner Duyarlığı: Derleme Çalışması
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Prekatsounaki, S., & Enzlin, P. (2024) · Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy · doi:10.1080/15332691.2024.2368067 · Cited by 3 · see citing works
Evolutionary Perspectives on Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder in Women
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Kim, D.-S., Kwon, Y., & Xin, S. (2021) · Family and environment research · doi:10.6115/fer.2021.004 · Cited by 3 · see citing works
Homophobia levels of parents of nursing students and affecting factors
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Perceived Partner Responsiveness and Wellbeing
Reis, H. T., & Le, J. (2023) · Oxford University Press eBooks · doi:10.1093/oso/9780197567579.003.0006 · Cited by 2 · see citing works
Self-citationExploring the Impact of Fantasizing on Romantic Relationships and Attachment
Busch, T. M., Goodwin, G. J., Dempsey, M. R., Conrads, G. S., & Wilson, S. M. (2024) · Sexuality & Culture · doi:10.1007/s12119-024-10289-x · Cited by 2 · see citing works
Daily Sexual Mindfulness is Linked with Greater Sexual Well-Being in Couples
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Intimacy reduces withdrawal after conflict in cohabiting couples
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The Impacts of Alexithymia and Sexual Distress on Sexual Functioning Among Portuguese Women
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Prekatsounaki, S., Loeys, T., & Enzlin, P. (2024) · The Journal of Sex Research · doi:10.1080/00224499.2024.2393378 · Cited by 2 · see citing works
Validation of a Measure of Implicit Sexual Desire for Romantic Partners
de Jong, P. J., & David, C. C. (2016) · Cited by 2 · see citing works
Merged Minds: Generalized Shared Reality in Interpersonal Relationships
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DIADICS: a proof-of-concept study in mixed-sex couples
Prekatsounaki, S., & Enzlin, P. (2024) · Sexual & Relationship Therapy · doi:10.1080/14681994.2024.2366501 · Cited by 2 · see citing works
Seyed Aghamiri, F., Luetz, J. M., & Hills, K. (2025) · Sexual Health & Compulsivity · doi:10.1080/26929953.2025.2481961 · Cited by 1 · see citing works
“The expression of sexuality, a fundamental human desire, occurs in the context of intimate relationships, and women’s sexual desire has been significantly predicted by relationship issues (Birnbaum et al., 2016; Friedmann & Cwikel, 2021).”
Meuleman, E. M., Karremans, J. C., & van Ee, E. (2024) · Journal of Military Veteran and Family Health · doi:10.3138/jmvfh-2023-0098 · Cited by 1 · see citing works
A Content Analysis of Lay Definitions of Romantic Chemistry
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van Lankveld, J. J. D. M., Beaulen, A. A. J. M., Aarnoudse, B., Aaronson, N. K., van Diest, S. L., Oudsten, B. L. D., & Verboon, P. (2025) · Contemporary Family Therapy · doi:10.1007/s10591-025-09739-x · Cited by 1 · see citing works
Wehrli, F. S. V., Landolt, S. A., Weitkamp, K., & Bodenmann, G. (2025) · Journal of Social and Personal Relationships · doi:10.1177/02654075251351172 · Cited by 1 · see citing works
Birnbaum, G. E., Zholtack, K., & Reis, H. T. (2026) · Cyberpsychology Journal of Psychosocial Research on Cyberspace · doi:10.5817/cp2026-2-3 · Cited by 1 · see citing works
Self-citationBirnbaum, G., Friedman, D., Zholtack, K., Gilad, N., Bergman, N., Pollak, D., & Reis, H. T. (2024) · Journal of Sex Research · doi:10.1080/00224499.2024.2391105
Self-citation
- Authors
- Birnbaum, G. E., Reis, H. T., Mizrahi, M., Kanat-Maymon, Y., Sass, O., & Granovski-Milner, C.
- Affiliations
- Reichman University (IL)
- University of Rochester (US)
- Jacobs Institute (US)
- Bar-Ilan University (IL)
- Venue
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
- Published
- 2016-10
- Volume
- 111
- Issue
- 4
- Pages
- 530-546
- ISSN
- 0022-3514 (ISSN-L)
- 1939-1315
- OpenAlex
- W2468848422
- Cited by
- 125
- References
- 73
- Citations by year
- 2026: 8 · 2025: 16 · 2024: 16 · 2023: 13 · 2022: 21 · 2021: 15 · 2020: 8 · 2019: 11 · 2018: 11 · 2017: 5 · 2016: 1
- FWCI
- 14.68
- Type
- journal article
- Language
- en
- Open access
- closed
- Locations
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (publishedVersion)
- PubMed (publishedVersion)
- Funders
- Israel Science Foundation (86/10)
- Binational Science Foundation (2011381)
- Topics
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Social Psychology › Attachment and Relationship Dynamics
- Social Sciences › Sociology and Political Science › Marriage and Sexual Relationships
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Experimental and Cognitive Psychology › Evolutionary Psychology and Human Behavior
- Keywords
- sexual desire, partner responsiveness, intimacy, long-term relationships, mate value, gender differences, online interaction, everyday experience
- MeSH terms
- Adult, Female, Humans, Interpersonal Relations, Male, Sexual Behavior, Sexual Partners, Spouses, Young Adult
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