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Through the looking glass darkly? When self-doubts turn into relationship insecurities
Abstract
The authors argue that individuals regulate perceptions of their relationships in a self-protective way, finding virtue in their partners only when they feel confident that their partners also see virtues in them. In 4 experiments, the authors posed an acute threat to low and high self-esteem individuals' feelings of self-worth (e.g., guilt about a transgression, fears of being inconsiderate or intellectually inept). They then collected measures of confidence in the partner's positive regard and acceptance (i.e., reflected appraisals) and perceptions of the partner. The results revealed that low self-esteem individuals reacted to self-doubt with heightened doubts about their partners' regard, which then tarnished impressions of their partners. In contrast, high self-esteem individuals reacted to self-doubts by becoming more convinced of their partners' continued acceptance, using their relationships as a resource for self-affirmation.
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“In contrast, people high in self-esteem (HSEs) tend to cultivate high-quality relationships with others and use them as a resource for self-affirmation (Murray et al., 1998).”
From Social media use and systemic inflammation: The moderating role of self-esteem (2021) · cites this paper as Murray et al., 1998
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“Notably, LSEs tend to interpret interpersonal events in ways that validate their negative self-views (Murray et al., 1998).”
From Social media use and systemic inflammation: The moderating role of self-esteem (2021) · cites this paper as Murray et al., 1998
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Metadata
- Authors
- Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., MacDonald, G., & Ellsworth, P. C.
- ORCID
- Ellsworth, Phoebe C.
- Venue
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
- Published
- 1998
- Volume
- 75
- Issue
- 6
- Pages
- 1459-1480
- ISSN
- 0022-3514 (ISSN-L)
- 1939-1315
- OpenAlex
- W2169008446
- Cited by
- 276
- References
- 72
- Citations by year
- 2026: 4 · 2025: 5 · 2024: 3 · 2023: 14 · 2022: 8 · 2021: 6 · 2020: 9 · 2019: 7 · 2018: 9 · 2017: 7 · 2016: 13 · 2015: 9 · 2014: 14 · 2013: 14 · 2012: 15
- FWCI
- 12.55
- Type
- journal article
- Language
- en
- Open access
- closed
- Locations
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (publishedVersion)
- PubMed (publishedVersion)
- Topics
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Social Psychology › Attachment and Relationship Dynamics
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Clinical Psychology › Personality Traits and Psychology
- Social Sciences › Psychology › Social Psychology › Death Anxiety and Social Exclusion
- Keywords
- self-esteem, self-doubt, relationship insecurity, self-affirmation, reflected appraisals, partner perceptions, self-worth, self-regulation, guilt, social acceptance, romantic relationships
- MeSH terms
- Adult, Analysis of Variance, Courtship, Female, Guilt, Humans, Intelligence Tests, Interpersonal Relations, Male, Models, Psychological, Self Concept, Truth Disclosure
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